Tag Archives: cake

It’s Not Quite What It’s All About…

Those who know me may or may not be aware that I worship at the altar of Nigella. She is my idol and (as Eric von Zipper says) my ideal. She cooks and bakes to picturesque picture perfect perfection – okay, alliteration failed me – and it always looks like something you’re meant to eat. And she does. And I want to… a lot.

The other day I watched a few hours worth of The Almighty N on youtube and got all bakey. So I made a Mediterranean herb and cheese bread from a bread machine mix. Only I’m an epic failure with those death machines so I did it all by hand. It was a little chewier in the center than I would have preferred – a little dense – but the hubbs loved it and we ate the whole thing with oil and balsamic vinegar. Yay!

For New Year’s we made a Russian chocolate cake (apparently a traditional thing there) from scratch. He loved it even though the cake was a bit dense and dry (totally my bad on poorly scooping flour) and the rum wash didn’t quite come through the flavor of the ganache. I love that word. Ganache. All this baking and cooking and talk of food makes me want to get even more bakey so I’m trying a recipe that’s deceptively difficult.

Hokey Pokey. Honeycomb. Diabetes in a tin. That’s what I’m working on right now. You know what they say – third time’s a charm!

We’ll see.

Batch one was awful. The instructions call for 1 ½ tsp of baking soda. I accidentally grabbed a ½ tbsp. Whoops.

Batch two tasted better but was flat and chewy and still a tad too carpet powdery. Blech.

Batch three is cooling now and I’m praying my tiny heart out – oop. Nope. Flat and chewy again.

The whole idea of this snack/desert thing is that it’s supposed to set all fluffy and hard and then you smack the crap out of it with a hammer to make hard little chunks of biteable yummy. I can’t tell what I’m doing wrong but I’m doing it WAY wrong because I keep ending up with chewy taffy-like stuff. While I’m sure someone somewhere could do something with this stuff I’m unfortunately not that talented and I’ve got a hubby on a diet. WAH!! Anywhoo… there are no pictures of this baking failure, but I will embed what should have happened a’la Nigella.

All hail Nigella!

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Ah, the Holidays…

A time of magic and wonder and straight up murdering a bitch at the mall for taking the last parking space. *sparkle*

Fortunately for me this is also the holiday when common sense and taste go right out the window. Without further ado:

Live long and prosper. We give you thanks in the name of the Spock.

Oh, you thought I was done?! Fools!!

Good luck sleeping after that!

Not quite like a bowl full of jelly...

Oh. My. God.

And now for a palate cleanser…

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Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!

There is a very real danger in cultivating the web. Not identity theft, though that is always a problem. No, I mean a very real and present danger in our everyday lives when we click on a link.

DEADLY CUTENESS!!

Yes, lurking around every virtual corner is a little slice of adorable deadliness trying to suck us into a web of awesome and awwwww. Don’t fall for it! When you see something like this:

Run. Run! RUN!! Don’t walk, just run. Don’t blink, they can see you! They can see you softening and about to chuckle or coo. Run! Lock your doors, bar your windows and bury your laptop in a drawer. Because if you aren’t careful, you’ll spend the next three weeks watching nothing but this:

and this:

Or worst of all, this:

God help us all…

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