Easy Like Sunday Mornin’

What a crock. My Sunday morning was spent grocery shopping followed by rearranging living room furniture with the hubby and re-alphabetizing all our DVDs and games.

Why? ‘Cause that’s how we roll.

I’ve been considering doing my own version of a 50’s Housewife Challenge but the food is the main reason I’ve been holding off. As most of you know my hubby has to stick to a strict diet in order to maintain his weight for his job. Somehow I can’t help feeling that a meat mold is the best way to keep the calories down.

Oh, God... Why!!

My main interest in the challenge would be the housekeeping and the supporting your husband portions (though not in a creepy step ford way). Our home is tiny. TINY. We live in a mobile home that is a mere 12 x 60 that for some reason has a “second bedroom” in it. I’ve had closets bigger than this room.

The house is cute enough, and it’s all bought and paid for which is more than I can say for our car, but in the end it requires real effort to keep it clean because it is so small. Even the slightest hint of clutter can take a space from cozy to clutter-fucked in a matter of seconds. So, if I do decide to take the housekeeping challenge (minus the snazzy clothes and jello-molds) I’ll be sure to document it all for your watching/reading pleasure. Who knows – maybe my house will be under control for once.

Also, does anyone have an idea how to multitask a cedar chest without using it as a coffee table or entertainment center?

Who the Hell Owns a Blue Satin Sash?

I don’t just blog and go to work, you know. I am an avid internet junkie with a long – loooong – list of favorites. My bookmarks list is in fact so large as to be almost unmanageable. Challenge six is “Curate the Web,” in which I was planning to simply post a list of my bookmarks, but as I said it’s a loooong list, so rather than subject you to everything I have instead compiled a sampling of my uber-faves. I could call these the creme de la creme of my faves, bookmarks and blogroll, but that would just be pretentious.

Because blogging itself isn’t.

1. Pen-palling sites:

• www.lettersets.com
• www.phoopies.com
• www.penpal-net.info

These sites are tons of fun for finding a penpal, paper and stickers to write your letters to your new penpal, or they may just be excessively pink sites to find the perfect gift for the anime/kawaii obsessed fan you’re friends with. Because no matter how much you like the color pink, Chocokitty or bishounen anime, there’s someone out there who makes you look like a noob and you will meet them.

2. Blogs on my blogroll:

• www.brigittedale.com – I know you’re all probably tired of hearing about her from me, but she’s so dang cute! It takes a  woman secure in herself to openly admit an obsession with cupcakes and then hold a cupcake playoff to personally name the best cupcake bakery in LA. That’s bold. Bold.
• www.FourFour.com – For the most part he’s merely chronicling the daily thoughts of a gay man as relates to the media, but he does it with panache. I started reading his blog because of my own obsession with ANTM (America’s Next Top Model). His recaps and crying counts make me snort out loud and his love/hate relationship with Tyra – not just the show or her judging, but Tyra herself – becomes as addictive as the show. I salivate at the thought of judging photos and have been known to yell at my poor husband when he blocks the tv before I’m done judging the photo myself.

3. Reading/Books:

• Ellora’s Cave
• Samhain Publishing

Two great sites for fans of paranormal, futuristic and/or sci-fi erotic romance. You can either download the ebook (Samhain Pub even has some novellas for free) or purchase in paperback. Few of these books ever show up in bookstores because the ladies buying them are hardcore collectors (no, no pun). You may have to dig to find an author that fits your taste, and there are a few stinkers in there. I won’t lie to you. On the whole, though, these books are great and comprise the majority of my e-collection. Fabulous stories with sexy, manly men and engaging female leads. Huzzah.

• Project Gutenburg – An interesting site where classics (some even in different languages) have been gathered for free download. There are some audio versions available for download as well, but they’re all read by volunteers so don’t expect James Earl Jones quality.
• Monterey Public Library – The local library here in CA. The poor desk clerks must be starting to dread my requests lists.
• Net Library – A site linked out of the SA Public Library system with hundreds of e-books and audio books for free download/checkout. They do have a shelf-life tied into licensing, but it’s easy to “re-check” a book, so if you have a card with the San Antonio libraries I highly recommend setting up an account.

4. Roleplay:

• www.rpol.net
• secondlife.com

Great sites (one does require you to download a program to play) where I can be whatever I want so long as I can act the part. It’s a great way to break my writer’s block sometimes – although it’s not working too well at the moment. It’s sad when blogging becomes procrastination for writing.

• www.lotro.com – Lord of the Rings Online. Lord. Of. The. Rings. On. Line. ‘Nuff said.

5. Keeping in Touch:

Twitter.com – Not only am I an active Tweeter, I follow Brigitte Dale, Felicia Day, Tyra Banks, Jamie Oliver and many many others. It’s an acceptable form of e-stalking.

6. Wasting Time:

Bubble Spinner – As addictive as popping bubble wrap with the added complexity of shooting pool. I can’t stop. I once spent fourteen hours – allow me to repeat, FOURTEEN HOURS – playing this game. Try it. I dare you.

6. Do you remember card catalogues?

Okay, this was going to be all about the awesomeness of Google, but is there really a need. You’ve seen. You know.

And that, folks, in a nutshell, is how I spend the majority of my time online. I could lie and say I was doing something cooler like hunting wikipedia for new information to then confirm or deny through printed media at the library, but if I wiki it’s usually in search of information through Wookiepedia or the Encyclopedia of Arda (more LOTR right there). So, yeah. That’s what I do.

You’re Fired!

For Challenge 3 – “Talk Back” – I had planned on this long rant about the 24k gold PS3 recently released. It sells for approximately $4000 and I’m cheesed off just thinking about it. However, *calming breath* I have decided to focus on something that happened to me yesterday instead.

I tried a new hairstyle – sans mirror (I think this is an important piece of information) – done entirely with bobbypins. I’ve done variations on this style before but this time I tried to throw in a side part. A deep side part. At the end of the workday I stepped into the restroom to make sure there was no ravioli on my nose or something and realized I was sporting a massive Donal Trump-like comboverish ‘do. It (this is how I will refer to said Trump ‘do for the rest of the post) was awful!

"In the end, you're measured not by how much you undertake but by what you finally accomplish." Oddly profound coming from The Donald.

So here’s my Talk Back. Why doesn’t anyone let me know when I’m sporting a hairstyle that makes me look like a sixty-year-old business tycoon. In a bad way. Shouldn’t there be some sort of Bro code for women that makes it perfectly permissible for one of us to tell another when she’s made a serious fashion no-no without us fearing they’ll be offended? I’m not sure about the rest of you but I want to know when I look like , as my sister would say, A Hot Mess. Yeah, it needed to be capitalized. The whole point, I thought, of shows like What Not To Wear and How Do I Look was to make us all more conscious of how our appearance on a daily basis affects how people perceive us. So, if someone is obviously trying for this :

and comes out looking like this:

or this:

shouldn’t we be able to pull them aside and help? Could that be considered a donation to Dress for Success (a fantastic charity, btw)?

I just think that it’s a shame that we as a nationn have become so tshirt and jeans in our appearance that even our attitudes have become cotton casual. Not that there’s a problem with tshirt and jeans, I rock the look myself. All I’m asking is that we do it with aplomb. As I attempt to “Audrey” myself in style and attitude I’m discovering more and more just how far from true style and grace my casual approach to fashion was affecting my approach to life. It’s only natural that I will stumble from time to time on my road to Classic Elegance. But, when I do fall into It, the quagmire of the full head of hair combover please, please, please! Tell me. Point me to the nearest mirror and suggest I fix It or something of a helpful nature.

You know, there’s this girl I work with who is constantly a walking fashion plate. I see her shoes or her cute little dresses and I want to steal them and then go shopping. What I have to remind myself is that even in her three inch heels, she still only comes to my nose and that if I were to dress like her on a constant basis I would suddenly be 5’8″ and I’d have to straighten my hair everyday. Oh, wait, that’s the look I’m working toward. My point here is that she somehow never seems to have these fashion don’ts happen and I want that same self assurance.

But even she said nothing about It. And that makes me wonder if I’m the only one who saw the Trump of It (even though the hubby agreed when I explained why I was twisting in my chair to catch the light as I took a picture of myself last night) when it so obvious! Of course, I always seem to work with the same people who find glittery Jesus coin banks “Fly.”

So, what I’m trying to get to is that I think we as a people need to empower ourselves to stop fashion don’ts. Would you tell someone they were a fashion no if you knew you could do so without fear of repurcussion or arguing? Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you? Talk back yourself and let me know. Would you want to be told if you were a no? Have you ever told someone and it worked, or just blew up in your face? Let me know.

Think Like a Writer, Blog Like a Drunk-dial

In an effort to have more focused writing in my blogs, I’ve compiled a list of blogging challenges to tackle. The list is FORTY FIVE items that I’ve culled from the topics suggested in the book “No One Cares What You Had for Lunch” by Margaret Mason (half a lunchable and a stringcheese, FYI).

For those who might be interested I’m going to actually list (ten at a time) all of the challenges I intend to do, along with my interpretation of each. Maybe we can blog together! Mine will likely be a mixture of audio-visual media. I can’t wait to see what y’all come up with.

 1. Count Your Blessings: A sweet list of things that have gone right.

 2. Examine Your Paperwork: Post an old story or journaling entry that is physically painful for you to read.

 3. Talk Back: Respond to something (an article or opinion in the news), seriously or otherwise.

 4. Transform Yourself: What bad habits do you want to dump? what good habits would you like to acquire?

 5. Get Nostalgic: What reminds you of your youth? Post a scan of a childhood craft or a vid clip of you as a kid being a kid.

 6. Curate the Web: Spread the love and link to other blogs you like to read, with your own little descriptions of each.

 7. Play Favorites: Make a list of favorites and summarize each in two sentences or less (movies, books and/or music).

 8. Act on Ceremony: Describe your family traditions. Describe another families tradition you’ve witnessed. What sort of tradition would you start?

 9. Watch Your Language: What are some words or phrases you love and think everyone should know and love? What old phrases do you think deserve a second chance?

 10. Fill the Gaps: Use a photo or an old book and wax poetic about what you remember of your life at the time you took/read it. (Is it appropriate to end a sentence with it?)

I’d like to take this chance to state that the topics are the “chapter” titles directly from the book. I may change them (probably will) as I write the blogs themselves, but I’ll be sure to give a nod to each so you can keep up. So, join me on this voyage of discovery as we all learn about ourselves and discover the joys and frustrations of attempting to make a web-vid without a Mac. Oh… that’s just me? Hell.