Category Archives: fails

It LIIIIIIVVVEEESSSSS!!!!

BOOM BABY!!

BOOM BABY!!

So, I’ve been gone for a long, long while. After healing from my broken finger and working back up to my 5k running skills, we got PCSd by the Navy! Again! I hope you can understand and forgive me. Posts will begin again soon! Prepare for a list!

Holy shit a list this is the best day ever oh my god oh my god oh my god!!!

Holy shit a list this is the best day ever oh my god oh my god oh my god!!!

First, though, I must tell the tale of the shit-storm that was Fall of 2014. Dun-dun-duuun!! They sent us right back to the same place we were before going to CA, but we had sold our house so now we’re renting a condo. We had less than 30 days to pack, find a place to live and get across the country. On the way, I am sad to report, Miss Kitty passed away.

Rest in peace, Miss Kitty.

Rest in peace, Miss Kitty.

The stress of it all caused my back to lock up. The doctor (once we got here) put me in physical therapy, but the office was at the hospital which required close to three hours of driving to and from for 45 minutes of stretches. Fuck that noise. Yoga was working for me and I could finally get my underwear on by bending over again. Seriously. I couldn’t put on my panties without laying in the fetal position. Still, I was on the mend and making my way back into the gym. Then, disaster struck again.

Taking out the trash one morning, I stubbed my right toe, lunged forward to brace myself and…. felt the arch pop and give away. Part of my foot that has never touched the ground felt the cold cement. I couldn’t put weight on it. I had sprained my mother fucking arch.

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This was right before Halloween. It is now just past St. Patty’s Day and while I can walk now, I still can’t run or play volleyball. Advil is  never less than three feet away. I still have Flexeril (for my back) that I need to take some nights just to get some rest. I now weigh about ten pounds more than I have ever weighed before – even when I gained my “freshman 15.”

Still, I can go to the gym again. I have lost four pounds so far and can go five miles on the stationary bike. Work is still a bit of a pipe dream, but a clean house is totally within my grasp. And now that we’ve shaved Boyo, once I vacuum I’m fairly certain I can keep this ridonc cream carpet clean.

And with that… peace and I’m out

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Flepic Pail…

Not every post works. Just sayin’. Sometimes I try something new and I think it’s awesome in the moment. Then reality steps in to pimp slap me and I’m forced to admit that what I just did dosn’t work. At all.

This doesn't work. Can you see why?

So I hide deep in the recesses of my external hard drive, never to be seen again. For those who remember my last vid (the “movie” idea) you should know that that particular post was a fail on my part. It ain’t gonna happen. Not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it was turning into a Riff-Trax/Down In Front style thing that would have required too much effort on my your part to pull off.

Fortunately I’ve been bitten by the decoration bug and after having moved everything to this new URL (complete with new background and banner)! Brainstorming for future posts is going on as well.

For now, though, I direct you here for some hilarious reading.

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