You Can’t Turn Up Preserves…

Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about the whole Kardashian clan. If you don’t (for some reason) then how the hell did we meet?

Simply put, the Kardashians are the excrement that other reality shows turn their nose up at. It takes hard work to make The Hoff and The Donald look classy. Congratulations Kardashians! You did it!

Now, I’ve never recorded a single meant for public consumption (yes, I have been inside an actual recording studio before and sung and had it down on tape and everything) but I’m pretty sure someone SOMEWHERE must have heard this tripe and said to themselves “Whoa. Hang on there.” The problem is that either the power of her ass, boobs or dad’s money kept them from saying it out loud. As a result, this exists:

If you are simply going to insist on using tits, ass and cash to promote a singing career, could you please make sure you can actually sing? While even the power wielded by the mighty Tyra couldn’t pull it off, at least her song is something I’d hit the elliptical to:

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