An Elegant Turn of Phrase (If You Have a Head Injury)

There are certain phrases that people cling to. For some it’s a regional thing, such as “y’all” or “howdy.” For others it’s cultural/ social such as saying “like” like a valley girl or quoting a movie line whenever something triggers a memory. However, there are some phrases that are unique to certain individuals, almost a personal catchphrase requiring no sitcom. Personally, I use “holy crackers.” A lot. I also say “piddle” but that is the property of a woman I once worked with. At least I don’t have to pay royalties on it.

I get teased a lot for saying “y’all” and the occasional “boy howdy” that escapes me, as well as for saying words like “pie” or “hi” that come out sounding more like “pah” and “hah” but I get the most comments for “holy crackers.” I just like it. I see nothing wrong with using “holy crackers” as an exclamation, an expletive and whatever else I feel like in my quest to reduce the amount of swearing I indulge in – particularly in the workplace.  What surprises me is how many people treat it as an adorable part of being Texan rather than my own version of the cussing patch.

I think that if everyone just chose a phrase that could work as a catch all for multiple thoughts and emotions we’d all be better off. The cursing has become ridiculous and frankly crass.

That said, there are certain phrases I’d like to suggest.

– “Go to!”

– “Love a duck!” (Thank you Finding Nemo)

– “Holy crackers!” (obviously)

– “Elf needs food badly.” (I think if more people used gaming lingo they might realize the awesomeness of games other than first-person shooters. Not that there’s anything wrong with blowing zombies back to hell.)

– “Crazier than a shit fight in a monkey house.” I dare you not to find this phrase awesome.

There are also phrases I would like to strike from the popular lexicon.

– “That’s gay.” (“What in gay hell” can stay.)

– “Bitch please.” (Only acceptable on SNL Weekly Report)

– “That’s ghetto.” (If you aren’t pointing one out, shut up.)

– “Hot mess.” (Sounds like something went horribly wrong during sex.)

– “Word dawg.” (I’m guilty of this one, but what does it even mean?!)

– High waisted jeans. Not a phrase, but needing to stop, nonetheless.

If you can think of any phrase you’d like to add to either of these lists, comment and share your thoughts!

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